An Editorial On Marie Callender's Pies

Today I'm writing an editorial about Marie Callender's Restaurants, and ironically, it was one year ago today that the parent company of Marie Callender's filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy because of a weak economy.

There has been a long stretch of time in my past during which Marie Callender's has been my favorite restaurant in all of southern California, regardless of its location. There have been many changes over the years to much of its menu, but over all, I have held a steadfast fondness for the food, the atmosphere, and the staff. It is a shame that the company is no longer the success it once was.

This editorial of mine has been long overdue. It deals with the pie category of the menu. More specifically, what the company refers to as its "fresh fruit" pies. 

What is a fresh fruit pie? Well, according to Marie Callender's, it is one of their pies made from fresh strawberries or fresh peaches, served in a pastry shell, with one of the appropriate syrups poured over the top. For example: "fresh strawberry" pie consists of a pastry shell loaded with fresh strawberries having a strawberry syrup poured over that. The "fresh peach" pie is similar. Fresh peaches (in season) are sliced, dumped into a pastry shell, and then doused with a peach syrup. In both cases, neither "pie" is actually baked or cooked.

Forgive me, but I have a huge problem with this definition of a "pie." For starters, a pie needs to be baked or cooked in order to be correctly referred to as a pie. If you don't bake or cook the fruit, it is not a pie. At best, it is some kind of fruit salad. What Marie Callender's refers to as Fresh Strawberry Pie is, in actuality, a strawberry salad served on pastry. You could loosely refer to it as a dessert, but it is not a pie. It is a salad. Plain and simple.

The "fresh peach" pie is no different. It is not cooked or baked. It consists of sliced fresh peaches atop a serving of pastry. So it is a peach salad on pastry. It is not a pie. It is not baked or cooked.

I can hear your arguments already. "But wait!" you argue. "It's better than a two-crust peach pie because it's fresh!" Well, I am not impressed. I can go to the supermarket during the same time of the year that Marie's offers its fresh peach pie and I can buy my own peaches. I can slice them up and eat them out of a bowl and get the same "fresh" experience without spending the premium price for a so-called piece of "fresh peach" pie. The point I am trying to make here, is that there is no draw in serving fresh peach slices atop a pastry shell with a little bit of syrup poured on top of it. Marie Callender's has somehow created a huge amount of marketing hype over a product that anyone can make with fresh peaches and a paring knife. 

To further illustrate my point, and to prove that I do not entirely loath what Marie Callender's makes or does, I would like to point out that they make an excellent two-crust peach pie (using, I guess, canned or frozen peaches). And it is an excellent pie because it is actually made as a pie should be made: by baking it in an oven so that the fruit gets cooked. 

To add further insult to injury, Marie's has the audacity to charge more for its fresh peach pie than it does for its regular two-crust baked peach pie, even though the latter is actually better than the former. Is their "fresh peach" pie more work to make? Are the ingredients more expensive? None of their marketing hype makes any sense to me as a consumer. 

If Marie's really wanted to impress me, here's what they would need to do. They should come up with a new pie called Fresh Apple Pie. And here is what the definition of "fresh apple pie" would be. They would buy fresh Granny Smith apples in season, slice them up, and put them into a two-crust pie (along with the appropriate sugar and spices) which they would then bake in their ovens the same way they bake their "regular" apple pie. They could charge a premium price for it, and I would gladly pay it. They could bill it as their Fresh Apple Pie in Season and it would be wonderful. But somehow, the masses have it all wrong. Marie Callender's has it all wrong. And no one can see that the Emperor has no clothes. 

Perhaps the Chapter 11 filing is more appropriate than anyone realizes. In the meantime, I will continue to boycott any "fresh fruit" pie that Marie Callender's continues to put out whether it's strawberry or peach. 

Promoting my Novel on Amazon Kindle

As of February 25, 2012, my first eBook has been published on Amazon Kindle Publishing. If you have a Kindle (or Kindle Fire) be sure to check it out:

Click here to see the details.

Here is a summary:

Amy Jennings, a nineteen-year-old physical science major enrolled at the local university, is having a bad day. First she breaks up with her boyfriend. Then gets into an argument with a classmate. Then stresses out over mixing school work with her part-time waitress job. Just as she believes she's getting a handle on life once more, the night brings an unspeakable horror. She meets with an unknown assailant in the dimly-lit parking lot after finishing the late shift. The next thing she knows, she's out cold. And when she wakes up, she discovers giant human fingers bearing down on her naked body. After a frightening period of orientation, she soon learns that a madman in her neighborhood possesses the means of shrinking humans down to doll size, and has used that means to kidnap Amy and make her into a helpless, hand-held pet for his amusement.

Dr. Marj Edison suspects antiques dealer John Palatino to have stolen her miniaturization device, but cannot prove anything, and fears going to the police. So Marj enlists the aid of Amy's sister Lisa to do some snooping around Palatino's place of business, as well as hire four sharp college undergrads to break into Palatino's house. One way or another, all vital clues pointing to Palatino's new sick and twisted hobby involving young coeds, would be uncovered.

But the best of plans do not always succeed.

While Palatino's collection of shrunken females continues to grow and local police become more suspicious regarding the disappearing persons, Lisa gets closer and closer to the dangerous truth. Meanwhile, the shrunken Amy begins to lose her sanity as she undergoes a bizarre form of obedience training. Unless someone on the outside can rescue her and the others, they will forever remain five and half inches tall, and nothing more than mere playthings known as Palatino's Pets.

Palatino's Pets. Only $1.99. Comments and criticism welcome.

Think I'll Nitpick a TV Show Episode

In the recent past I watched a rerun of Bewitched on TV Land. Bewitched has always been a perennial favorite of mine, and like many other shows, I don't mind seeing the same episode more than a couple of times.

Now I feel like I want to nitpick this episode just for the fun of it (it is Episode #7 of the first season). In one particular scene, Samantha is with three of her aunts: Bertha, Mary, and Clara (witches all, of course, played by Reta Shaw, Madge Blake, and Marion Lorne) having tea at Samantha's house. Aunt Clara is the witch who has difficulty with her powers because of her advancing years thrown in with a bit of neglect. Bertha decides she'd like a cup of tea, so she levitates the cup of tea from the table over to her by reciting the incantation: "Zolda, pranken, kopek, lum!" Mary does likewise, reciting the same incantation word for word. Then comes Aunt Clara's turn. She, of course, fumbles through the words and doesn't get them exactly right. Her cup levitates about half-way towards her, shakes and rattles a bit in mid-levitation, then crashes to the floor into a thousand pieces.

Bertha, a bit embarrassed for Clara, says something like "Oh, Aunt Clara, really!" She waves her hand over the broken pieces and spilled liquid, and everything re-assembles into a perfectly whole cup of tea back in mid-air whereupon Bertha then has it float cautiously over to Clara (or something like that).

My nitpick is this: Why is it, if you want to levitate an object across the room, it requires an incantation of no fewer than four words (zolda, pranken, kopek, lum)? But if you want to re-integrate the broken pieces of an inaminate object, all that is required is a simple hand gesture. Let's compare: which task is more difficult? Levitation or re-integration? Granted, no mere mortal can do either, but if I had to assign levels of difficulty to both, I'd say that re-integration requires more skill and more work. And that said, a longer incantation.

This particular nitpick ought to extend to a much later color episode (having a different Darrin, of course) in which Maurice gives Darrin a magic pocketwatch enabling him to perform witchcraft in conjunction with speaking the words (you guessed it) zolda, pranken, kopek, lum. But I will forgive the writers for this continuity problem because of the large amount of time between episodes.

My latest musical composition

If you go here:

http://homepage.mac.com/ernesto1956/Palatino.mp3

You can hear my latest musical composition. This is an original orchestration and, in fact, an original piece. It is not just an arrangement; I wrote every single note.

For those who do not already know, in addition to being a fine artist, I also dabble in composing.

What is this piece of music, exactly?

My first novel, Palatino's Pets, was written in 1994. Ever since I wrote that novel, I've imagined what it would be like to have it developed into a motion picture. So imagine, if you will, that the book is now a film. And the film, of course, has music. This piece of music is the title theme of the film, containing melodies, themes, and motifs which I consider appropriate for such a sci-fi thriller type of movie.

So imagine you are in the movie theater. You've watched the coming attractions. The feature presentation has started. Still images and credits dissolve into each other on the screen as you hear the music begin. At some point the words Palatino's Pets appear, among others as you listen. The string section swells and pulsates rhythmically. The woodwinds and brass describe a melody. You are drawn within.

I actually composed all of this music within a single day, but spent probably six hours on it (for about two minutes' worth of music). It is still a work in progress, but it requires only some minor tweaking. Anyway, I just wanted to share it with you, and I hope you enjoy it.

Made Red Bell Pepper Hummus

Today I made hummus again. This is a spread (or dip) made from pureed chickpeas, tahini, garlic, lemon juice, dried basil leaves, ground pepper, and roasted red bell pepper. I then made sandwiches (resembling sliders) using the hummus as a spread on each half of the sandwich bun and loading up with more roasted bell peppers. The result was killer! I also discovered a savory new ingredient called SALT (I think it must stand for "Such A Lovely Taste"). I added a mere 1/4 teaspoon to the batch of hummus and it tasted great. I must remember to make even more use of this key ingredient in the future. The photos here aren't that great, but you can get an idea of how good it looks when sliced in half.

Field Tested Spy Camera in Del Mar

The Patio Area at En Fuego
Cantina & Grill, Del Mar

Harvest Ranch Market

Earth Song Book Store

Sidewalk area at Americana Restaurant

Stratford Court Cafe on 13th

Quite some time ago I purchased a digital camera disguised as a pair of sunglasses. The megapixel rating is 1.3, quite adequate considering the size and craftiness of the camera. Today I decided to field test it in the city of Del Mar, California. Attached are some sample photos. Some were taken outdoors, and many of the interior shots came out quite well.

Points of interest include The Plaza Shopping Center, Harvest Ranch Market, Stratford Square, The Stratford Court Cafe, En Fuego Cantina and Grill (currently my favorite), and Seagrove Park, among other places.

If you want to see the rest of the photos, go here.

As you can see, the stealth capabilities of this camera are more than enough to get by without people knowing pictures are being taken. The shutter is silently released via a bluetooth remote the size of a silver dollar, concealed in the pocket. Taking the pictures is still a bit of a learning curve. Pressing the button results in three audible beeps which only I can hear via the earphones attached to the glasses. The exposure is taken at some point in the middle of those three beeps, but I'm not exactly sure when. Hence, it is difficult to shoot moving subject matter.

With some of the photos, I've cropped them after the fact so that I can zoom in on the subject closer. That is why these appear to have lower resolution.

I shot over a hundred exposures before I got tired of taking pictures. I've included only a few here and on my Mobile Me Gallery.

As a side benefit, the sunglasses are also a digital mp3 player.

Made Chicken Broccoli Fettucini Alfredo

This time I really didn't use a recipe. I did everything kind of from scratch, except for the sauce, which I made by using Bear Creek Broccoli Cheddar Cheese Soup Mix. For the chicken I simply took breast meat, cubed it, then pan-sauteed it. I steam-cooked the broccoli in the microwave.